Crystal17

Hi everyone, I'm kinda looking for some advice. I have an eight year old daughter who is soon to find out that there is no Santa. (We were christian when we started having kids and doing the whole Santa thing).

Actually, it might take her another year, but the problem is that she puts a lot into the Santa thing. She has held on to her beleif in god so far, but realizes that we don't think there is one. The funny thing is that when the god thing comes up, she says, but there really is Santa, right? I'm wondering if I should take her aside after the holidays and explain it to her. I'm worried about how much hope she puts into Santa and how much she'll be crushed. It's like the last thing she has left to beleive in.

-Crystal

MickinEngland

If I'd had kids of my own I'd never have told them there is a Santa in the first place ;)
Instead, from an early age I'd have told them something like "Santa's a lovely nice old man who people like to pretend exists for real, he's a bit like characters in nursery ryhmes and stories who we love even though they don't really exist either..

As for kids asking about God/ Jesus, the conversation would go something like this -
Q - "Is there a God"
A - "Jesus said there is"

Q - "But why should we believe him?"
A - "Because God was his dad"

Q - "Was he a phoney?"
A - "He did lots of mind-blowing miracles and stuff"

Q - "But does that mean he's the Son of God?"
A - "Why would he lie?"

Q - "Perhaps he lied to become rich and famous?"
A - "Saying he was the son of God got him the death penalty, not fame and fortune"

Q - "Did he really exist?"
A - "The whole nation of Israel and the occupying Roman army saw him"

tater03

I have struggled with this question myself. I have a seven and a five year old and I know that I will be taking my oldest aside and telling him myself. I just hope that I can get one more year but I don't know if that will happen. I plan on playing it by ear. I would rather he hear it from me than some other child that has already been told.

The An-Jel

I made a decision if I have kids... no Santa naturally but make Christmas a "Celebration of Life" for kids and adults. So the kids don't feel left out like the Jehovah's Witnesses. Don't even have to make it on Christmas, hell I am thinking New Years or some such. First day of the New Year is a New Year of Life, Beauty, and Discovery!

As Far as Santa goes well... it's a little late for the above theory unless you are absolutely obstinate and adamant and utterly offended by any form of Religion well you should be straight up with the kid. Like I said above though he/she will be initially sad but inform them that they got the bestest Santa as a trade: YOU. You guys will have a Celebration of Life day. It's kind of nicer to think about than the principles of Christmas anyway to me. Instead of celebrating someone elses birthday your celebrating your love for the child and your spouse. Just a thought.

__________________
"And let there be Light!" said the Blind man.

Life is simple, people make it complicated - Basilisk

Nulli Expugnabilis Hosti - Royal Gibraltar Regiment

Stephanie2377

She probably is even more attached to Santa since she sees him as someone that you both believe in. I am guessing she will struggle with her own belief in God vs. her parents' viewpoint.

I would just sit her down and explain about Santa lovingly. Let her know why the thought of Santa is *so* wonderful, and what things you will do together to keep the spirit of Santa alive in Christmas. I would get her ideas on how she wants Christmas to go next year and such.

She will just need lots of love and support!

Starlily

Father Christmas is REAL!!!! HE IS!!! You poor non-believers are all very deprived and uncharitable!!!

LOL

I grew up in an extremely religious home, so, no santa for me... but... I've since had alot of fun telling my children the story, and as my children grow up, they come to understand him as a symbol for the spirit of giving which returns every year, and we can also celebrate throughout the year...

I wouldn't worry too much, children have fun with it too, and they are much smarter than you give them credit for. Like 'baby Jesus', Santa is part of the christmas legend... I have adult friends who still believe in santa...Really!!!

FourBear

You can always tell your child (when he or she is ready) that Santa is based on a real person...St. Nicholas. You can tell him/her all the good things he did while he was alive. You could then use this to encourage your children to donate toys or something. Just a thought

Crystal17

Thanks everyone. The funny thing is that we did try to start out w/o Santa in the beginning, but when even the checkout lady was asking my 2 1/2 year old what Santa was going to bring, I pretty much decided that there was no use fighting it.

Good luck to you, too Tater. I agree that it's better to tell them than that they hear about Santa at school, and I think the longer I let this one go, the bigger the trainwreck.

Also, I appreciate the comments on making this one positive. There are still things to beleive in, like the good in people. Thanks everyone!

Crystal

Starlily

when I confided to my oldest that the BEST part of christmas by far for us parents was planning the surprises and finding presents that our children love, i was taking them into my confidence, and when I asked them to assist me in planning surprises for the younger ones, it was more of a rite of passage...

a rite of passage and a positive learning experience...now we are always looking for giving opportunities around solstice...