Not sure how helpful this is... but I totally and completely relate. I hate to get all Sigmund Freud in here, but after wondering what the hell was wrong with me for so long to make me so self-concsous and overly concerned with what people think of me.. I decided it probably goes back to childhood.
If people grow up with family or friends who give them love, support... basically certain positive feedback... It helps them grow into healthy confident people. Its kind of like watering a plant so that it grows strong and blooms. If there isn't a lot of feedback ("watering and sunshine"), it's hard to have that same growth. I think it's made me into a sort of "late-bloomer" because I got a lot more negative feedback than positive for certain years of my life.
I'm willing to bet the same may be true of you and your childhood.
But I'm a firm believer in being forward thinking and not ALLOWING the unpleasant things in life hold us back. We can make a choice to grow and move forward just like we can make a choice to dwell and self-hate and self-pity.
Just try to get there. That's what I do. Try to be positive and convince yourself of how worthy and wonderful and great you are, even if you secretly doubt it sometimes. The more you work to exude that, the more people will respond to it, and you'll start to really trust it.
Try to be really proud of the times that someone says something and you have totally different opinion- look forward to those opportunities to stand out. Not really over something controvercial... I mean just little things... If "everyone" likes a restaurant or an actor or something you hate... say it and own it! That's part of being yourself, and not about "fitting in". If you come across as someone who accepts themselves, people will naturally feel that way toward you.
I still to this day get overly self-conscious sometimes, but just take each day as it comes. Love yourself. Put things into perspective. Enjoy the things that stand out about you, and don't try to emulate others actions... but try to emulate the confidence that others exude!
By the way, nice to meet you- I'm sure you're a great person and just completely underrate youself. Hope to hear more from you on here!
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