Hello! Leaving Christianity...

Seeking_Truth · 07-20-2007, 01:00 PM

Hello! I just registered and thought I'd whip up an introduction.

I'm a 30 year old from Michigan who, as of a couple years ago, had begun to question certain things about Christianity. Though I grew up in a Christian home and adhered to it's ways and beliefs, I didn't really come to understand the "personal" relationship with Christ concept until I was 17. So it's been about 13 years now since I guess I became a Christian.

Like I said, a couple years I ago I began to have doubts about a number of things about the religion. For example, how can we know for sure that the Bible was in fact assembled through God-inspired actions, and not the desires of selfish men bent on satisfying their own political agendas? Or why has Mary Magdalane been given the reputation of being a prostitute when in fact there is no such thing stated in the Bible? Or why is it that the cross is also a Pagan symbol, and the well known fish symbol is also representative of the constellation Pieces?

Up until the last few months I never put much effort into looking for answers to my questions. I guess you could say that I felt a little apathetic about it, and I didn't want to face the potential consequences if I was to learn that I had been practicing a religion that was not even based in fact. What triggered me to really dig into finding answers was my interest in truth about other things, such as all of this chaos going on in the world today, i.e. 9/11, Iraq, etc. That search lead me to a few websites and forums where religion is quite often talked about and debated. While reading those forums I wound up watching stuff on Youtube and Google that really began to open my eyes.

Finally, during the past couple weeks I've come to the conclusion that Christ and much of what is written in the Bible is nothing more than a story that is an illustration of the procession of constellations and other events involving celestial bodies as they move through the sky. The biggest eye-opener for me was part one of the movie Zeitgeist, which can be found on Google Video. In that part of the movie was assembled a lot of information about Christ and many other "saviors" who shared a disturbing (for me) number of similiarities as far as birth, life events, death, and resurrection goes. Much of it was information I had read bits and pieces of previously, but seeing it all put together really made it click in my mind.

And that leads me up to the present, where I find myself a little confused, very scared of the future (I'll explain in a sec), and also quite satisfied. The confusion stems from the fact that I really am not sure what to believe anymore. The only thing I am certain of is that I feel that God is real, but beyond that I don't know what to think. And the satisfaction is the result of having found answers to my doubts. Did they get me any closer to the truth about whether or not Christ and his teachings really were real? No. But they did help me to see that Christ is most likely not entirely what the church would have me believe.

The reason I said I am scared is that, as a result of learning what I have recently, I find myself in a very tough situation. I was married last October to a wonderful Christian woman who has a very strict Christian (Baptist) family. My own immediate and extended family is 99% Christian as well. And then there are my friends, most of whom are also Christians. I am very worried about the impact that my departure from the Christian religion is going to have on my marriage and my relationship with my family. To be honest, I'm not even sure how to break the "news" to them. I know I must start with my wife, but I cannot even say how stressful it is to think about because I don't want to hurt her. And once she knows, how is her family going to react?

I know this may not be the right section of this forum to pose this question, but I am curious if anyone else on this forum has been through this process of leaving Christianity and having to deal with the fallout from it. Any advice would be soooooo greatly appreciated. I don't know where to begin in letting it out, but I know that I have to. There's no way I could continue acting like I am a Christian when inside I am not anymore. If it means being alone, then so be it. I'd much rather be alone and closer to the truth than faking it just to keep the people around me happy.

Well that's my story and introduction. I am sorry for being so longwinded. I've been getting a little desparate for people to talk to, and I think that an Agnostic community is probably where I now fit best.

Thanks in advance for reading! I look forward to lurking around and contributing to the conversations as well.

**The An-Jel** · 07-20-2007, 02:00 PM

Welcome to the Forum!

We actually had a thread like this with a similar question... how to cope when everyone else around you is faith-bound while you are not. Fine place to ask the question incidently...

You still believe in God... the Biblical one?... or what kind of God... or just God in general? It sounds like you have people you like around you so with your doubts it could become quite uncomfortable I am sure. I think the best way to do it is just to not mention it at all if your doubts will cause harm to you and the rest of them. I mean of all the pressures in this world one thing we have to try is to be true to oneself. You believe in God but not in Jesus. Talk about God... if your talking about the Biblical version mind you... avoid Jesus and talks about the character in the New Testament as best you can. I don't know what talks about Atheists (generally what they call Agnostics as well as George can testify) do you and the folks have? Thats a good way to find out where you might stand with your "doubts" according to the "true believers."

Best I can think of off the top of my head.

Seeking_Truth · 07-20-2007, 02:13 PM

Good points about God.

First, let me say that I no longer feel that I can put much faith in the Bible being the holy document that I once thought it to be. There is just far too much that has taken place regarding its assembly, translations, and evolution, over the course of centuries past. Not to mention the fact that much of what is written about in the Bible is, like the story of Christ, most likely another way of describing the movement of celestial bodies and constellations. And lastly, why is it that certain ancient texts were not included in the Bible? There are far too many questions and unexplained things for me to accept the Bible any longer.

Now, about where I stand in terms of my beliefs towards God. I do believe that there is a supernatural being. I also feel that that being was involved in the creation of our universe, as there are too many complexities everywhere for me to think otherwise. Whether or not this being is interacting with our world and our lives, I'm not sure. Judging from the way our world is so messed up right now, I tend to think that there is no interaction. But I'm not sure. My departure from Christianity is so recent that I feel like I'm learning and discovering a lot from square one. I know my beliefs are going to change and evolve for a while as I educate myself, but right now I can't say much more as far as what I strongly believe.

I had considered keeping my mouth shut with the people around me in order to keep from hurting them. But if I do that I know that I'm going to grow extremely frustrated, stressed out, and angry. I say angry because I don't think I could continue sitting through church services and giving money to a church when I no longer believe in their cause! And the stress and frustration are probably pretty obvious.

Thanks for the reply An-Jel!

sisterX · 07-20-2007, 02:27 PM

Wow i'm sorry about your dilemma. I hope it all turns out ok for you. Good luck with your journey to finding what is truth to you. I hope your disappointments with christianity does not put you off all religions.

Gettin' In Tune · 07-20-2007, 10:06 PM

Welcome to the Forum.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Seeking_Truth

My departure from Christianity is so recent that I feel like I'm learning and discovering a lot from square one. I know my beliefs are going to change and evolve for a while as I educate myself, but right now I can't say much more as far as what I strongly believe.

I can relate to this. I am recently new to cultivating a belief/philiosophical system of what 'god' is or is not. At times it is a struggle and frustrating. At other times you see the world with new eyes and it is simply beautiful.

Quote:

I had considered keeping my mouth shut with the people around me in order to keep from hurting them. But if I do that I know that I'm going to grow extremely frustrated, stressed out, and angry. I say angry because I don't think I could continue sitting through church services and giving money to a church when I no longer believe in their cause! And the stress and frustration are probably pretty obvious.

You are in a tough situation and I am not sure if I am the best one qualified to help you. I would suggest that you may have to strengthen your tolerance. Tolerance does not imply acceptance. I am not sure how tolerant your wife and her family is to agnosticism.

I have a step-mother who stands strong in her Christian religion/heritage, but she is very open to me discussing atheism/agnosticism/deism with her.

I also have a Catholic grandmother and we used to get into heated debates over God. Today we have very different beliefs, but usually can discuss them without tension. It took time, effort, and frustration to get to this point. What I learned is that it was not worth "fighting over god" with loved ones. Its okay to discuss different belief systems with the people you love, but when that argument becomes "heated" its time to walk away from it. You can always return to the conversation when things have "cooled" down. My love and respect for my grandmother trumps her belief in a Catholic God.

Anyways, good luck with your dilemma and good luck on your new journey.

**The An-Jel** · 07-21-2007, 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Seeking_Truth

Good points about God.

First, let me say that I no longer feel that I can put much faith in the Bible being the holy document that I once thought it to be. There is just far too much that has taken place regarding its assembly, translations, and evolution, over the course of centuries past. Not to mention the fact that much of what is written about in the Bible is, like the story of Christ, most likely another way of describing the movement of celestial bodies and constellations. And lastly, why is it that certain ancient texts were not included in the Bible? There are far too many questions and unexplained things for me to accept the Bible any longer.

Now, about where I stand in terms of my beliefs towards God. I do believe that there is a supernatural being. I also feel that that being was involved in the creation of our universe, as there are too many complexities everywhere for me to think otherwise. Whether or not this being is interacting with our world and our lives, I'm not sure. Judging from the way our world is so messed up right now, I tend to think that there is no interaction. But I'm not sure. My departure from Christianity is so recent that I feel like I'm learning and discovering a lot from square one. I know my beliefs are going to change and evolve for a while as I educate myself, but right now I can't say much more as far as what I strongly believe.

I had considered keeping my mouth shut with the people around me in order to keep from hurting them. But if I do that I know that I'm going to grow extremely frustrated, stressed out, and angry. I say angry because I don't think I could continue sitting through church services and giving money to a church when I no longer believe in their cause! And the stress and frustration are probably pretty obvious.

Thanks for the reply An-Jel!

Yeah Gettin' In Tune has a great example there. I hate to put it this way but I find it to be the most truthful. Being an ex-believer among the believers is like being an ex-drug addict among drug addicts. You can't really be around them and do the things they do anymore because it makes no sense to you any longer. Best thing you can do is to find the most liberal (not politically speaking here but the REAL definition of liberal) minded of the believers and tell (hopefully this would be your wife, I hope it is) them whats going on. A good friend that likes you a lot for other reasons than faith or a relative your convinced loves you unconditionally without condemnation. Best thoughts there...

**George** · 07-24-2007, 09:01 AM

I agree Gettin In Tune makes solid points and the advice is sound. It does take time. You'd also be surprised to find out just how many people surrounding you have the same doubts but fear letting anyone know. Trust me, since I've become openly agnostic I find a lot of friends approaching me and asking questions as if they need me to validate them being agnostic or to at least tell them why it's OK to be.

Perfect example: My wife and I, when we met, both asserted that we were religious and then pretty much rarely spoke of it. We never went to church and rarely spoke about religion. Then as we became closer we'd watch television together a lot. We slowly started making little comments here and there when there would be a religious special on trying to either prove or disprove the existence of God. Or frankly any show that touched on religion. Long story short we ended up discovering that we were both agnostic. Her being a weak agnostic because she felt there absolutely has to be a God but just wasn't sure it could ever really be proven. I pretty much was an atheist there for a while until I realized I just don't possess the arrogance it takes to think I knew everything about the universe and how it was created or who created it.

So back to the point.... it will likely take time. You don't have to walk around wearing an "I'M AN AGNOSTIC, DEAL WITH IT!" T-shirt, but the best method I've found to get people to understand why you question the religion and or even the existence of God is to simply ask questions and watch them try and answer them

. Then poke holes in their answers and watch them try to plug them. Don't be sarcastic or overly witty. Just be genuine in your interest to know the answer to the questions.

Good luck.

Kevin · 07-24-2007, 10:48 AM

You're in a tough situation and I hope everything works out for you Seeking Truth. Many of us here seem to be in similar situations.

I guess you can say I "came out of the closet" as far as religion goes recently with my parents. They weren't too happy and they still make me go to church. But thankfully they're more understanding than other people would be and they're slowly accepting my beliefs (or non-beliefs).

I think "coming out of the closet" is a good term to describe our situations when it comes to religion. I'm sure for gays, lesbians, and bisexuals, its difficult to come out of the closet when it comes to their sexuality. Well I guess the same can be said for agnostics or atheists who are surrounded by believers and worshippers of Christian or other faiths.

Maybe you should start a discussion about religion with your wife. You don't have to outright say "I don't believe in religion" or something like that, but maybe tell her about your doubts, questions, and feelings. She is your wife after all and you should be able to talk about anything with her.

Hope everything works out.

Aaron · 07-25-2007, 09:54 PM

Welcome aboard.

Out of curiosity, how do you think your friends/family/wife would react if you told them you were converting to Catholicism? How about Judaism or Islam? Just wondering. I'll explain why if you answer.

phrenic13 · 07-26-2007, 12:34 AM

I just signed up and happened to read this thread. This is about 90% me in this thread. It is funny because I was going to post something very very similar. I have questioned Christianity for a few years and have even tried to make myself believe. I am the kind of person that needs hard evidence to believe in something. I have a girlfriend of almost six years who is Catholic and has tried to talk to me about it, but now I am at the point where I will not change my mind again. She would rather see me as a Christian (especially if I converted to Catholicism, haha) but she almost understands where I am coming from. I have told a couple of my Christian friends and they are astonished and do not understand, but respect the fact that I still respect other peoples religion. As for as family. I don't plan on telling any of them. That would just make this whole thing harder. I close my eyes during prayer and think about things and no one ever knows anything. Thats the way its going to be because I am not into hurting people. Im looking forward to see what other people feel about different issues and will be checking out these forums more often. Thanks.