I didn't know where else to put what I am thinking here, so I thought I might as well try here..
As a person being born into the Christian world and a person who likes being comfortable, if I could I would still be Christian...
But being truthful to myself was more important, as I just could not in anyway close my eyes when I saw that there was many problems with the teachings I grew up with....
I have a son that is total fundamental Christian, and we have a good relationship that could be great if it wasn't this tension caused by religious differences
As a matter of fact I do feel out of the circle when it comes to my family because they are Christian and I am not...
I am trying to give a full picture on why I would be a Christian if I thought it were truth..
I think I would be a atheist if I didn't see the possibility of a god in near death experiences or so many things that I have seen or heard that I don't think that can be explained in a physical sense.
So I guess if I had a gun to my head I would say that there is no physical person to call god it could be just a energy that we are all a part of and contribute to..
I also see that when I was a fundamental Christian, I was caught up worrying about the after life and not taking each day as a opportunity to enjoy each day I had..
It is now crazy to me and I think more of a tragedy to spend so much time worrying about something I have no control over, and not enjoy those I love or a beautiful spring day or playing with my grandchildren or taking my dog for a walk...
In all honesty I would not give my ideas of god too much thought as I am now pretty comfortable with where I am at, cept when I talk to my son and how I wish we could be closer but this god thing is a huge wall....
That's what really pisses me off is I see religion as a way to seperate people and not have us work together to make life better for all of us!
I also see the god vs satan thing as a way for people to not accept the consequences for their own actions, so they instead blame it on a god or devil..,,My dad blames everything on the devil trying to get him, when it's his own fault or bad medicine....
The deal is my family does not really want to see what I have seen because it would take them out of their comfort zone as I have told them I would show them the area that gives me trouble, but,,,no way!!!,,I guess that's where the saying comes from huh??..Ignorance is bliss " ???
Now, I don't know if I am off base or not as I am still in my search, but that's my story and I am sticking to it,,,,at least till I get some knowledge that may help give me something new to think about

Hope my ramblings makes some sort of sense
Take care all......
Jack