black.heart.87

hi everyone on this forum, hope you are all well.

Since I can remember, I have been really confused in what I should believe. Ever since I was a kid, I had a hard time trying to convey the extent of Christianity as I was made to go to church. A lot of religions in my opinion are very much like cults, and an interesting fact is that apparantely the first religion was a cult. (hmm, the apparantely contradicts it as a fact) anyway. I have always been open to all people's views and opinions, whether is be on god or evolution or reptilian creatues or anything, my mind is always expanding to absorb all the information and believes so as I can then replay it and try to make sense of it. But the thing is, latley, I have been getting really depressed, can't sleep and eat because I am so worked up about finding an answer. It's like when I am thinking about these things sometimes my mind will feel like I am at a conclusion but then at the last minute.POOF. Everything is gone and my mind feels like it is pulling away from the conclusion. I don't know why this happens, but it does, the main thing i am interested in at the moment is Philosophy. I have been writing my own documents for a couple of days now, trying to get all my thoughts onto paper, and it isreally helping.

is there a god? i do not know, but i suppose it couldn't hurt in thinking there might be something greater than us looking out for us. Anyway thats my introduction. I hope i didnt send you all to sleep.

By the way I use humour to get me through the days..It keeps me sane. (just explaining my title) lol