Ronin

Hello, my name is Ronin and I'm a recovering Christian. (Chorus: "Hello, Ronin"). I grew up in the United Pentacostal church (an evangelical denomination sometimes called "Holy Rollers"). I wasn't the "my parents drag me to church" type, either - I really believed it. Ironicaly, that was my downfall. See, most evangelicals do everything thay can to avoid ever being confronted with a dissenting opinion: they only listen to Christian music, read Christian books, etc. But since I really believed I went ahead and researched Christianity, other religions, philosophy, etc, confident that even the most rigorous study would only serve to vindicate my faith. Boy, was I ever mistaken. Long story short, I went from knowing everything to knowing nothing at all. And, because I was (and am, I suppose) so emotionaly invested in God, I ended up with serious depression and anxiety. After about three or four years of being barely functional, I suddenly realized that I was tormenting myself over something that, by its very nature, could never be proven or disproven. That's when I decided that I simply had to stop putting my life on hold until I had the answers (b/c I would never have the answers) and go ahead and live as if there were no God. That is, as if this is the only life I get and I have to make my own decisions and take responsibility for them, rather than waiting for a "sign" to tell me whether or not my decisions were in keeping with "God's will." I could be wrong, of course, but then, if there really is a God, and if he really loves me, he knows where to find me.

Sorry about the long introduction, I just needed to get that off my chest. Thanks for listening. I'm looking forward to some interesting discussions.

mimage

That is a wonderful introduction!

Introductions are very important on this forum IMO because people get to know where you are coming from.

Check out my introduction thread if you are interested on where I come from.

I don't know if your story is suppose to be sad or enlightening but it is very interesting none the less.

Welcome to the forums! I hope you enjoy your stay!

SithLord

Yeah this whole agnosticism thing is pretty alluring

I'm an atheist so unlike agnostics I don't really have an open mind about the whole God thing. But that's my choice and until God is proven then that's what I'll believe.

Your post had so many good points I don't know where to start so I'm just gonna say Great Post! Frankly I'm not waiting arousn wasting my life waiting for God to show me the way.

Faydwyn

Do you think that is because they aren’t secure in their faith? Or is it some other reason?

We’ve already posted responses to each other’s comments, but here is a belated Welcome! anyway

Ronin

Better late than never To answer your question, part of it is that only letting Christian materials into their minds is part of their faith (St. Paul writes in the NT: "whatsoever things are good and just...think on these things"), and part of it is that they just like Christian books and music (I'm not even Christian anymore and I still like contemporary Christian music ). I'm sure that part of them is a little afraid that reading Neiztche, for example, would make them begin questioning their faith, but that motivation is, I think, largley unconcious.

__________________
"The world is my country; to do good is my religion." ~ Thomas Paine

}SoC{Sumguy

welcome to the forums ronin!

__________________
"And now you've seen his face,
and you know that there's a place
in the sun, for all that you've done.
For you and your children.
You always wanted to beleive.
Just ask and you'll receive,
beyond your wildest dreams.
And you already know how this will end...."

Faydwyn

Restricting yourself to only Christian materials seems so limiting (and boring in my opinion)…So only things that are Christian are good and just?