| Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 145
|  Hey folks, good to be here
Browsing the Introductions forum, it seems pertinent to post why I've lost touch with religion and a formalized belief structure and briefly describe what I feel. So, with as little cynicism as I can muster, here we go:
I grew up in a household that I can best describe as a "Convenience Christian" household. My mother, occasionally plagued by guilt, would bring us to church on Sundays in spurts. The longest of which was every Sunday for 4 years, the shortest of which was a small period in which we bounced between denominations (with seemingly little to no regard for the various beliefs each upheld) to work around what I imagine was my mother's increasingly difficult schedule and that most hallowed American moment each Sunday, kickoff. As it stands, I spent most of my church time in the United Methodist denomination.
Recently, my parents were divorced (ironically 1 month before I was married). My father was a compulsive gambler and lost all of our family's money and then some (to the tune of about $700,000). Instantly, my mother's Convenience Christian attitude kicked in, exposing her to be quite a hypocrite. Ever since we discovered my father's problem, she has done nothing but denounce the addiction as God dealing her a bad hand in life. Never mind the fact that my grandma had just survived a bout of breast cancer immediately followed by $100,000 in surgery on her gall bladder, no, God dealt my mother the bad hand.
So, predictably, my mother relapsed back into the church, wallowing in self pity waiting for God to give her answers instead of bettering her own situation. My brother, saying all what I'm about to present before you in the same conversation no less, holds the ironic duality of wanting to blame my father for everything that has happened but in his "strict Christian beliefs," feeling that he "owes a debt to our Creator," can't find it in his heart to help my father and the rest of my family through this situation.
Do I absolve my father of all guilt? Absolutely not. What he did was, to put it bluntly, dumb, and he now has a price to pay. However, being a fellow human (and not acting out of obligation to God, or Allah, or the Easter Bunny) I believe it is my responsibility to help my father turn his life around.
What does this have to do with me, and, more importantly, what does it have to do with me being agnostic? I don't feel I owe a debt to a god, because frankly, I don't think that's really all that important in the grand scheme of things. What's important is treating your fellow man well and bettering this life for everyone that shares the planet.
So what do I believe in? Three simple things:
1.) I believe in things that are inherently spiritual. I love my wife with all of my heart, and although I believe science can explain a great many things, I cannot explain why I love her so much. I also believe that all living things are in some way connected.
2.) That being said, I have absolutely NO way to prove what drives these feelings, be it a spirit, a god, whatever. And frankly, it's not important to me. What is important to me is...
3.) ...being as good of a person as I can to my fellow man, acting out of the goodness of my heart and not out of the obligation to a spiritual figure.
While these may be simple truths to some (and a thing that binds the core of most religions), I see far too many people overly concerned with the specifics of their religions and forget that beyond treating everyone with kindness and doing your damnedest to help those you love, the rest is details.
So, in that vein, I am agnostic. Do I believe in things I can't explain? Certainly. Can I ever explain them...? Does it matter? I don't think so.
For those of you that have read my rant, I appreciate it. This seemed as appropriate as any a place to vent. |
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