marmalade

http://www.religiousworlds.com/fondarosa/godten.html

Why God was never granted Tenure

He had only one major publication.
It was in Hebrew.

It had no references.

It's wasn't published in a refereed journal.

Some even doubt he wrote it himself.

It may be true that he created the world,
but what has he done since then?

The scientific community has had a hard time
replicating his results.

He never applied to the ethics board for permission
to use human subjects.

When one experiment went awry,
he tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.

When subject's didn't behave as they were expected,
he deleted them from the sample.

He rarely came to class,
he just told the student's to read the Book.

Some say he had his son teach the class.

He expelled his first two students for learning.

Although there were only 10 requirements,
most students failed his tests.

-- Anonymous

Vinterland

Haha, brilliant first two lines. I'm curious as to what this one, "He expelled his first two students for learning," is referring to.

Thanks for sharing!

__________________
And on we walked. Suddenly we heard a voice crying, "This is the sea. This is the deep sea. This is the vast and mighty sea." And when we reached the voice it was a man whose back was turned to the sea, and at his ear he held a shell, listening to its murmur.
And my soul said, "Let us pass on. He is the realist, who turns his back on the whole he cannot grasp, and busies himself with a fragment."
—Gibran Khalil Gibran, “The Greater Sea.”

greywolf90

probably adam and eve

__________________
"for there is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so."- Hamlet

Vinterland

Probably, but it doesn't follow the order of the lines above. Anyway.

__________________
And on we walked. Suddenly we heard a voice crying, "This is the sea. This is the deep sea. This is the vast and mighty sea." And when we reached the voice it was a man whose back was turned to the sea, and at his ear he held a shell, listening to its murmur.
And my soul said, "Let us pass on. He is the realist, who turns his back on the whole he cannot grasp, and busies himself with a fragment."
—Gibran Khalil Gibran, “The Greater Sea.”

marmalade

Glad you enjoyed it. It made me smile when I found it.

I must admit that I was kinda hoping for a Christian to start arguing that God really is tenured. Oh well...

Wulfric

You could wait for MABEY to post, though I suspect it wouldn't be particularly intelligent/relevant to the topic.

Great stuff, though!

WilliamBlue

lol That's good! Mind if I share it with my catholic friend? I.E. not copyrighted or anything so I won't get sued or anything like that?

__________________
When you dance with an elephant it's up to you to not get stepped on.
How can we be so arrogant and egotistical to believe that the whole Universe was created just for us?

Symposium

Hahaha

Nice.

__________________
Heather

marmalade

Sure... share away. At the site I found it, there was no mention of anything about it other than saying its anonymous. I've never seen it anywhere else.

Buddha

__________________
Compromise, conformity, assimilation, submission
Ignorance, hypocrisy, brutality, the elite
All of which are american dreams