Child abuse? - Page 3

Geshtinnanna · 02-18-2008, 09:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WilliamBlue

Quote:

Originally Posted by Geshtinnanna

"don't sit so near the tv. You'll go blind!"
"Don't stick your tongue out. Your face will freeze that way!"
"Better behave or Santa won't give you presents"
"Don't eat candy before dinner. It will ruin your appetite!"
"Don't cry. Big boys don't cry"
" Sit pretty and quiet. Good girls are silent"

Need I go on. Parents tell their kids all kinds of retarded crap.

I agree that these are crap, but these are not the kind of things I was talking about. My wife works with an evangelist who believes that if she even thinks something like "That guy is cute" that it is a sin and she could be punished for it and that is just the tip of the iceberg. She also has to avoid all instances of what might be construed as improper behavior such as going to lunch with a male coworker without an escort, as an example and this is an adult. In my opinion she is suffering from abuse.

I agree that's bad parenting. And the PARENT should be blamed. Not the book that parent obviously mis reads.

romansh · 02-18-2008, 09:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Geshtinnanna

I agree that's bad parenting. And the PARENT should be blamed. Not the book that parent obviously mis reads.

Hi Geshtie
Derbonic's original question was is teaching faith abuse?
So I would agree the book in itself should not be blamed.
But teaching to rely (completely, solely, choose an adverb) on that book... ie to have faith in that book... is that abuse?

Geshtinnanna · 02-18-2008, 09:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by romansh

Quote:

Originally Posted by Geshtinnanna

I agree that's bad parenting. And the PARENT should be blamed. Not the book that parent obviously mis reads.

Hi Geshtie
Derbonic's original question was is teaching faith abuse?
So I would agree the book in itself should not be blamed.
But teaching to rely (completely, solely, choose an adverb) on that book... ie to have faith in that book... is that abuse?

If a parent teaches their own child their way of believing and their view on faith and you call that child abuse...then logically a parent teaching their way of non believing and their non faith is also child abuse.

romansh · 02-18-2008, 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Geshtinnanna

If a parent teaches their own child their way of believing and their view on faith and you call that child abuse...then logically a parent teaching their way of non believing and their non faith is also child abuse.

It's a good argument. But intuitively, teaching a child how to think and question is a little different from what to think (or even stop thinking).

Lecter quite categorically says this is not a desireable.

Surely a questioning mind is one of the most precious gifts a parent can bestow on a child?

Geshtinnanna · 02-18-2008, 10:15 PM

The facts (when opinion of religion is put aside) is this... what you teach your child is not initially what your child thinks. Almost everything your child knows before age of 5 is from you. So with that...all teachings from a parent would seem somewhat like a form of brainwashing. Some parents teach their children nudity is ok. Some parents teach their children to not eat meat. When outside opinions start to force their opinion on you...don't be surprised someone thinks what you teach your child is abuse as well.

Geshtinnanna · 02-18-2008, 10:21 PM

Oh I wanted to add... I know how Lecter believes. I don't think their are two more questioning would be parents then us. I agree a questioning mind is desirable. But to teach your child your religion in faith and call that abuse seems really wrong. Because then the question comes...are you abusing your child? Are you sure? Maybe the majority thinks you are because you raised your child to be (fill in your right to choose your own religion here)
As soon as you call out abuse on that way of child rearing well you call abuse on you as well.

And just so you know... I will be the predominant influence on our children since I will be the stay at home mom. And I plan to raise them as fundamentalist Muslims...which means they will question their religion constantly....which I guess since I am teaching them a faith I am also committing child abuse. Throw that in with my belief in spanking too. I am gonna be one horrible mom!

romansh · 02-18-2008, 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Geshtinnanna

..... Almost everything your child knows before age of 5 is from you. So with that...all teachings from a parent would seem somewhat like a form of brainwashing. Some parents teach their children nudity is ok. Some parents teach their children to not eat meat. When outside opinions start to force their opinion on you...don't be surprised someone thinks what you teach your child is abuse as well.

Geshtie .... I agree with you ..... perhaps I would go further than that and say that it is quite literally brainwashing. Our kids are receptive to all kinds of "inputs" at that age. So is it not important that we teach our kids how to think rather than what to think?

I realize this is frought with all kinds of impracticalities.... nevertheless?

Geshtinnanna · 02-18-2008, 10:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by romansh

Quote:

Originally Posted by Geshtinnanna

..... Almost everything your child knows before age of 5 is from you. So with that...all teachings from a parent would seem somewhat like a form of brainwashing. Some parents teach their children nudity is ok. Some parents teach their children to not eat meat. When outside opinions start to force their opinion on you...don't be surprised someone thinks what you teach your child is abuse as well.

Geshtie .... I agree with you ..... perhaps I would go further than that and say that it is quite literally brainwashing. Our kids are receptive to all kinds of "inputs" at that age. So is it not important that we teach our kids how to think rather than what to think?

I realize this is frought with all kinds of impracticalities.... nevertheless?

I agree we should teach our kids how to think. Now what if my way of teaching my child how to think is to listen to the words of our faith and follow them. What if he thinks teaching his kid how to think is hey, just go and figure it out yourself. Or how about she teaches her kid how to think by saying SANTA IS NOT REAL OH NOES. So...which one of us has the right to teach our children how to think?

romansh · 02-18-2008, 10:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Geshtinnanna

...... Now what if my way of teaching my child how to think is to listen to the words of our faith and follow them.

Can you give an example from either a Christian or Islamic point of view?
I'm not sure how I could do it?

Of course it is the parent's right and obligation to rear their child to the best of their ability.

I tend to agree with you regarding the theological abuse concept is taken a bit far and similarly regarding spanking.... but like you said in an earlier post all things in moderation.

Geshtinnanna · 02-18-2008, 10:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by romansh

Quote:

Originally Posted by Geshtinnanna

...... Now what if my way of teaching my child how to think is to listen to the words of our faith and follow them.

Can you give an example from either a Christian or Islamic point of view?
I'm not sure how I could do it?

Of course it is the parent's right and obligation to rear their child to the best of their ability.

I tend to agree with you regarding the theological abuse concept is taken a bit far and similarly regarding spanking.... but like you said in an earlier post all things in moderation.

I agree in moderation. As for examples? I am neither Christian or Muslim. But tomorrow when I have time I can come up with something.
I have to go to bed. I have to work early in the morning. Boo hoo.
Nite!