Tell her that modern neuroscience illustrates that free will is myth. By this I mean our brains are made up of 100 billion robots (neurons, cells). Our behavior is just so complex and our communication skills so developed that we appear to have free will as the ultimate human delusion
A belief structure based on an ultimate God that judges people based on their actions in the world can not exist because the people are not ultimately in control of their actions in a cosmic sense.
Her religion is then a means by which the population is governed (i.e. motivating forces). The idea of heaven and hell for people who believe in free will (deluded) is then a motivation for a certain kind of behavior in life (i.e. moral).
What it means is that you are part of this immensely complex and vast universe instead of some bizarre object placed within it (i.e. a supernatural soul). You're like a flower that emerges and has beauty and then withers and returns to the soil as opposed to some thing that is inserted into the world and then taken out.
It gives me a feeling of harmony and wonder and compassion towards everything I see around me. The universe is not "predetermined" to happen a certain way (quantum mechanics tells us this) but the idea of free will that christians use is poorly defined and not ultimately real. It really pushes me towards wanting to help understand the world around us so that we can enjoy our experience more and more.
Or, you can just goto church with the friend and enjoy the music and use the stories that the people deliver to try to control you as your own gagues of THEIR personalities.
But being 16 is a very tough time in life. I remember it (i'm 27 now). Lots of changes going on in the world for you, I'm sure.
What I'll leave this message with is this:
Do not be afraid to say "i don't know." It's a real and honest answer and making that realization can make you a far more stable person than people who grasp at other random explanations of what's really out there.
The classic thing you can always tell your friend is:
Quote:
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Once you figure out why you don't believe in gods of religions other than your own, you'll have figured out why I don't believe in your god.
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Good luck with it. I hope there are people in your life that understand and support your approach, whatever it is (i.e. family/friends).