shadowind

awhile ago i wrote a poor grammer short story, im curious what you guys think of it:

"I am the unmoved mover, the cause uncaused, But the essence was always there, unmoved same as I. I created it not, but I did give it laws. Through these I bended the essence as best as it allowed. I made the building blocks, and left them to their own workings. Planets formed, stars shined. From the essence come people. Following the logic of my own laws, in time they will challenge me, one in particular. This man’s integrity was often misinterpreted as stubbornness, and of his stubbornness he was proud. he believed strongly that the reasonable man conformed to his environment, and the unreasonable man insist on his environment conforming to him. He was right in his conclusion and meaning of this fact, that all progress relies on the unreasonable man. He fought the rules and laws I laid down, more accurately he used them to control them. He called my laws physics and love his religion. In this man, in all people, the essence became a lesser me. At the death of the smaller god, the god went back to my modified essence. This man however was the first to defiy death, the first to be my companion here beyond time. Unlike me he can still exist in essence, and can modify essence in ways only essence can. I am the law giver, he is the perfectionist. For now, lets focus on his ascent to godliness. He himself started at the first quark to come from essence, but his birth was eons latter. Controversy was in his birth, in his life, and in his work.

He was born to a young mother . A night of passion unprotected. The scales of annihilation and birth was near in the beginning. Time, law and fear made causing death before completed life appealing to his prenatal guardian. However uncertainty, compassion and the first kick, made birth weigh something in his biological mother. A mother he never truly knew except through records and a special letter by her given to him when he come of age. His real father, his only parent, adopted and taught him the arts and sciences, humanities and plain sight secrets. It is here the seed of true love was sewed, in the arms of a father, and in the mysteries of the world. His driving force however was to be free. To be without the bondage of being. He still searches for a solution to this problem, of being and of being free, to this day. His work was enhancement of the human condition. His life was rich and bitter. Difficulties not unique but powerful, reaffirmed his conviction in the necessity of breaking down the barriers.

This is his greatest achievement, he overcame my system. He now brings others here with me and balances the forces as he sees fit in the other realms. He was very amused by the irony, but glad I wasn’t what so many expected. They expected a savior who was also a powerful god to bow before. Where instead I’m limited and would rather have a true conversation. Its interesting, one of their own, an internal device, is part of what they seeked all along, he and themselves are their only saviors. I can only reformulate the law, and undo all that is. I made the essence different because I was tired of being alone, and it was all I could truly do. I made it the best it would allow, Selfish I know, but worth it."

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remember "for mere impulse of appetite is slavery, while obedience to a law which we prescirbe to oursleves is liberty"-rousseau: the concept of the general will "if we can not reconcile all opions, then let us endeavour to unite all hearts."-?"to be is to be perceived"-? "‘We can be as honest as we are ignorant. If we are, when asked what is beyond the horizon of the known, we must say that we do not know’-Robert G. Ingersoll