I was raised in a Christian home my entire life, my mother even read the Bible to me while I was still in her womb (or so she says). I was your ideal Christian kid who knew all the right Bible verses, knew the motions, knew everything I was supposed to do and not do. It continued on like this until I went to a Bible College and that's where things began to change.
I began to think. The one thing they constantly told me was that I should want to do the things every Christian should do. And yet, they forced us to do things like witness and pray and read five chapters a day until I didn't want to do it anymore. They still said we should want to do it of our own free will. And that's when I made up my mind to go back home to the community college and figure out the answers on my own. It's been three years since then and everyday I come closer to what I believe is right for me.
My only problem is my mother and sister don't know of my decision fully, and I'm afraid of what might happen if I tell them. My father is of no use, but that is a whole different story.
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I'm tired of living under a desk lamp. I'm ready to find the real light. |