I've had episodes of depression since at least my early teens and maybe little bit before that. I had some major issues starting in 7th grade. Early highschool was better. Something happened in 11th grade and it was all down hill for the next 10 years before levelling out to a bearable level of depression.
I've seen many therapists and psychotherapists, and I've taken various meds. I'm not doing any of that right now. My faith in that route is very minimal, but I haven't discounted it. Maybe someday I'll find a psychotherapist that is actually helpful and maybe I'll find some meds that offer significant help. I've been playing with the idea recently of trying meds again.
My depression at the moment is very moderate(relatively speaking) and even at my worse I've always been functional. For some reason, I can feel that life is utterly pointless and still hold down a job. Its kinda impresive when you think about it.
I am so much more positive than I used to be. I'm a survivor. I've made it this far. In some ways, my depression has given me more of a sense of hope than many less depressed people have. It makes sense because why would a happy person need hope. People who become depressed later in life are more likely to kill themselves than people who've been depressed all of their lives. If nothing else, depression teaches you coping skills. |