Hi Susan-
Welcome
I am sure you will find there are many people here who can relate to where you're coming from, and even have pretty similar stories. Reading your post reminds me that the one thing that most of us probably share in common on these boards is the decision to not just take that 'leap of faith' that every religion ultimately requires you to make.
Even if I was prepared to take a leap of faith, how do I know which leap to make?... with so many competing religions out there, all with their own good qualities and merit, I don't even know where to begin!
Anyway hope to see you around