marmalade

Certainly. I'd rather talk on the level of direct experience.

I have had what felt like spiritual experiences, but I don't precisely know what this means. I do know that the term 'spiritual' means many things to many people. In my opinion, if the 'spiritual' exists, then every thing and every experience is spiritual. But thats not what you're asking for.

Yes, I have had deep and profound experiences that have permanently altered my way of perceiving reality, and how I relate to others. No, I don't feel saved. I wish I felt saved. I'm a bit cynical about the concept of being saved.

I have had many different 'spiritual' experiences, but mostly my experiences of the spiritual is more mundane. This mundane level is what I often refer to as 'faith in faith' and along with this just a basic sense of wonder and awe. This mundane level is an awareness of the potential of reality, and the high weirdness of being alive.

By mundane I mean that I'm often aware of the 'spiritual' even if I'm not feeling it deeply and profoundly in any given moment. When I am feeling it more fully, it feels like being connected to something greater. I have meditated for many years and this usually focuses on my heart. When I feel genuinely centered in my heart, many experiences can come from this. Sometimes its expansive as if I'm in living relationship with all of the world. Sometimes its a feeling of utter emptiness as if was glimpsing beyond the ephemeral nature of reality.

These more intense experiences aren't common, but they aren't entirely uncommon either. Its not difficult for me to get some sense of this whenever I turn my attention to it. However, I don't turn my attention to it enough for sure. These experiences can be quite bewildering and challenging sometimes. They aren't negative experiences, but I've never figured out how to integrate them into my everyday life.

I've had many specific experiences I could tell you about and I would do so willingly, but I'd have to give you a short synopsis of my life to explain them to you. Most recently, I went through a phase where I was searching my heart deeply. This led to some of the most profound experiences in my life.

At the moment, I've hit a slight dry spell, and am feeling uninspired. I've struggled with depression for much of my life. Its hard for me to say what my 'spiritual' experiences mean to me, and hence agnostic. This might give you some clue why other people's declaring certainty annoys me to no end.

Does that satisfy your curiosity? Was there anything particular you wanted to know?