I made a mistake in posting here. It's too hostile thread and it may cause a trigger in me. I apologize for jumping in and out so quickly. So just skip responding to me as I am not in the place to do this.
Though I would like to leave you with a short clip of my mother a few days ago so you can see for yourself how depression clouds your thoughts:
I just can't be that brave
People get tired. This is how that looks