Geshtinnanna

I've attempted suicide a few times. Last one before last landed me in the hospital with a stomach being pumped. I suffer from bi polar (got it from my mother who is severely mentally ill) Now I don't suffer as much as maintain my illness and keep it in check. Why is it so bad? If someone wants to kill themselves I don't hold a moral judgment over them. I know what it's like to want to kill yourself. I also know something else from personal experience:
1) My godmother found me in my room on the floor. She has since passed away but I know that scarred her for life. In my instance of needing to escape being a victim of my illness, I instantly became the perpetrator of a crime against my godmother. Something I will have to live with for the rest of my life

2) Usually when it comes to emotional decisions, poeple suck and are sooo way wrong. Mostly they are really wrong about their decision to commit suicide. Unfortunately it's too late for them to make another mistake.

Until you become one of us, you will not understand what goes through our mind. Your answer is one from an outsider who does suffer when someone commits suicide. It's an understandable judgment made out of hurt and pain....and the inability to understand what's going on in our heads. Don't think for one minute we are rational in that process. We are not. We simply have no concept of the end of a pain that cannot be bared anymore.

Again a valid question. But one that means nothing to a person about to end their suffering. In that suffering we are unable to feel our loved ones. We are unable to function. More than not we are not trying to die. We are simply trying to stop the pain. And our depression prevents us from thinking clearly.

No it does not. And isn't that a terrible thought? Imagine when you have to live that.

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